“Happiness is not a destination – it’s a way of life“
Earlier this year, I trained as a Happiness Life Coach. I was already qualified in leadership and life coaching, but this particular niche is something I feel really passionate about.
During my training, I learnt that over 30,000 people a month Google “how can I be happy?” and the hashtag #happiness has been used over 75 million times on Instagram.
It made me think – so many people are searching for happiness as if it’s something external, something to find… like a destination. But actually, it’s already within us. It’s about reconnecting with what lights you up so you can shine from the inside.
While I was thinking about enrolling on the course, I was chatting with a friend who said something that really made me pause. One of those comments you kind of know already, deep down – but no one’s ever actually said it out loud before.
It came after I’d sent a voice note, chatting away about something (I can’t even remember what now!) and ended with, “but you know me… I’m always happy.”
They replied “You said something in that message I’ve heard you say before – that you’re always happy, and it made me think. I know you still have hard days, and you get stressed, sad, angry like everyone else… but you carry this underlying happiness with you.”
That really stuck with me. Not because I never feel unhappy (I absolutely do!), but because it reflected something I’ve come to understand – through experience and through training.
Happiness isn’t about always feeling good. It’s not surface-level or about being ‘happy’ all the time. It’s something deeply rooted inside you.
Psychologists talk about two main types of happiness:
Hedonic happiness – the type that comes from pleasure and comfort (like good food, laughter, or sunshine).
Eudaimonic happiness – the kind that comes from living with purpose and alignment. It’s about feeling connected to who you are and why you’re here.
While hedonic happiness plays an important role, it’s also linked to the quick chasing of dopamine – the brain’s feel-good chemical. This kind of pleasure-seeking can become addictive, especially in a world filled with instant gratification from screens, sugar, social media (and likes!).
For children especially, constantly chasing those quick dopamine hits can make it harder to feel fulfilled by slower, more meaningful experiences. When we rely too much on fast rewards, we risk weakening our ability to feel joy from everyday moments, relationships, and purpose-driven actions.
Eudaimonic happiness goes deeper. It’s about living in alignment with your values and who you truly are. It often involves a sense of belonging, contribution, and doing something that feels bigger than yourself. It might not always feel easy in the moment, but it tends to bring more lasting fulfilment and inner peace.
And that’s the kind of happiness my friend saw in me. I see it in them too. They radiate the eudemonic happiness.
It’s not necessarily something you’re born with (or maybe you are, and it fades over time for various reasons). Either way, it’s something you build and you train and nurture it. You learn to relight your light when it starts to dim.
Some coaching questions I often ask:
– What does happiness really mean to you?
– Are you choosing it in the way you think, move, and relate to others?
– Do you let yourself feel happiness – even in an imperfect world?
It’s worth reflecting on, because it really is true: Happiness is not a destination. It’s a way of life, and if we’re always searching for it somewhere else, we might miss the happiness that’s already here.
I love quotes, but this one has a special place in my heart – and in the hearts of some of my closest friends. It was the favourite quote of our lovely friend Becky, who we lost far too soon. We learned this at her funeral when the quote was displayed on a big screen, and it’s stayed with us ever since. We even all have mugs with it printed on.
So, this blog is dedicated to you, Becky. May it help others live their life in happiness and light.
Jess
Founder of Illuminate & Happiness Life Coach